Well my cousin got caught getting diddled by a fiddler
Who was paying her some money just to sit on his knee
Lydia we called her ‘til she vanished from the alter,
On the day she was to wed the holy trinity

Oh god dear lord! Where could she be?
Plucking all the chickens, putting out for free
She took the last apple off the last apple tree
The devil loved her more than he ever loved Eve

She was a sad case
you could it in her face
her daddy couldn’t keep her from the leather and lace

She loved a man of cards only scorn for the lords,
Her boys needed aces and laces to get hard
Oh god dear shit lord where could she be?
Pluckin all the chickens, drinkin China Tea
She took the last apple off the last apple tree,
The devil loves her more than he ever loved Eve

Well I like nice things
Wind up birds that sing
And diamond rings

Well my dreams came true and I finally got my wish
She gave it to me gently, yeah it started with a kiss
Just a year later, well we both got syphilis
And we died holdin’ aces floatin down the ol’ Miss

Oh god dear lord what a time she had with me
floatin on a card barge, drifting out to sea
Old Saint Peter let her in but didn’t let me
Well Hell’s a lot colder than I thought that it would be
I said the Devil loves her more that he ever loved eve